Well I am pretty sure that I am going back to jail over this bullshit,as always a woman causes me to get my ass in shit! 2 years is a long fucking time to miss out on shit,maybe not as long as the first hitch I did,thankfully.The difference is that I KNEW I had my parents to come home and fall back on.This time I am entirely on my own,I'll be atleast 33-34 years old. This time I swear to myself I have to condition myself to be the full-on ASSHOLE that I know I can be.That way when I come home I'll be in my right mind,a survivalist mind if you will,where no matter what anybody else says I have to know that I can do WHATEVER needs to be done to stay free.

     On the bright side,I am older,I do know what to expect while doing time,and I will have the opportunity to start fresh,maybe I said start learning to live like Bob DeNiro says "Never have anything that you can't walk away from in 30 seconds",sometimes,most of the time I wonder if there is a purpose for me being here,or am I just 'filler'..........  

    I don't often admit defeat,mainly because I often think I am unconquerable,however this is the one time that I truly feel conquered,I don't like it! I also think that I have accepted and resigned to the fact that I am indeed going back. There are times that I spend time with Cindy,Scott.Buz,and all the other important people in my life,often I wonder if they know that while I am with them,do they know that I am doing my best to mentally record these times for future? 

   This may sound crazy.but I think I believe in prophetic dreams. It has happened numerous times in my life at the time they happened never knew what they meant. For instance,I had one about Buz and I years ago,I think that is when I actually started to pay attention to them. The next that I remember is while I was in prison I kept having dreams where I rear-ended somebody,cause I couldn't stop fast enough,well I had my Corolla and sure as shit!!While the construction was being done on the Fremeaux  Exit,in the middle of yelliing I rear-ended a Truck. Again,I kept having dreams about going back to jail,well I kept putting it outta my mind saying that it was just flashbacks from being there before,well the day that I got arrested last it hit me that I had those dreams. Well,now I have been having dreams,but not about going back. It's always that I am either getting probation,or something else that doesn't require jail, I think it is wishful thinking. I sure the hell don't see anything at the end of this tunnel other then an easy conviction.However,I do believe in Karma,power of 3's,and the reoccurring dreams.After all I am basically a good guy,for a'pothead',Buz and Scott received good news,and I have had those dreams a few times. AND the Saints did win the Superbowl......



 

 That's right!!I'm high as a kite and can't feel my knees!Whoa.I.AM.HIGH.!Ok,so my first thought is this...You know how Dinosaur skulls and other bones are as big or bigger than us,now after like Billion years or whatever it's been.Now stop and think,look at us and other animals such as dogs,cats,hogs,not to mention elephants and giraffes and shit like that.Now think what if like a billion years or where ever is in equivalence to the dino age ,there is another race than like we are now.Ok they find our bones and the animals I mentioned too,they look at that shit like we look at dino stuff now??What if....

Yeah wow I am high??Heheheheheh

Ever notice how when you are either drunk or high or outta your mind no matter what your vice is?Well I have and have wanted to have a spot/space where I can get fucked up and ramble with my thoughts.Now I have taken the time to do so!!I am really curious and excited to see what exactly goes on in my head when I'm not in my head hehe!By the way,I love to smoke more than drink!t's illegal,you say?In that case I'd have to reply fuck'em they gotta catch me before I worry about the legality of it!!!

This is my first posting and yes I'm sober this time,how I'm gonna use this page?I've no idea!Time will tell I'm sure!I know that I sure look forward to getting fucked up and rambling on,than coming back to read this the next day.


By the way something totally off the subject here.I am laying here in bed and watching the newest Terminator and this thought just came to me.The whole series is about saving this prick John Conner,right?Well,let's analyze the very first one,shall we?Ok,Kyle Reese is sent back to save Sara Conner from getting killed by Arnnie,ok?She gets saved,but when she kills the bad T-600(Arnnie) there is a piece of him left destroyed.Than fast forward to T-2,and you discover that from the destroyed fragment of the T-600,Skynet is founded and so and so fourth!!Ok,I love these movies and I already know the answer to this.But look at the movie logically,If John Conner would'nt have ever sent Kykle Reese back to save his mom than the T-600 wouldn't have either!And that is the whole answer to the movies!!!!If you don't send anybody or anything back than nothing gets found,nothing gets found than nothing can be made.nothing gets made than Skynet doesn't get created.So than the whole'John Conner' thing would just have become alternate future!Why couldn't the people in the future realize this??Becasue it's Hollywood and the movies have made millions upon millions of dollars,and that is the answer that I already knew!!

Well I am fucking hungry,Scott should have been here already,He isn't  and it is 4:30 and Happy Hour has been going on for atleast 30 mimics now,So,I'm outta here.Who knows maybe I'll post my first high post tonite